Sometimes You Just Have to Save Your Own Damn Self

Everyone has heard of the damsel in distress who was saved by a knight in shining armor, but why does no one tell the tale of the knight? Why don’t we know about the demons he had to overcome and the distress and failures he encountered along the way? What treacherous path was he forced upon that gave him no recourse but to become the hero of the story? Perhaps because these are the parts that are unromantic, and so, people are simply not interested in hearing about that part of the story.

Sometimes we wait so hard for someone to sweep into our life and save us that it takes far too long to realize that we are, in fact, responsible for saving our own damn selves. When does one start to realize that they are the knight in the story? That the plight of the princess is so unrealistic that it does little girls everywhere a grave injustice in teaching them to rely on someone to rescue them. That the line between good and bad is sometimes so blurry that you can’t distinguish one from the other. That people are not necessarily against you, they are simply for their own selves, and that indifference can cut deeper than a well-placed sword.

When does one start to understand who the true unsung hero of the story is?

Somewhere along the way, someone messed up a few details in recounting it altogether. The knight’s armor was not shining when he came to rescue the princess, it was dented and torn and covered in the dust of the journey he had to undertake.

Because a knight in shining armor is one who has never known the gruesome rigors of battle in the first place.


Author: ebonyandcrows

Hello and welcome to my page~ My name is Larisa--a very common Slavic name that was either derived from the Latin word hilaris, meaning "cheerful," or from the Greek city of Larissa, meaning "strong fortress." Born in Ukraine, I emigrated with my family to America when I was still a small child and now make my home in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. Growing up immersed in two vastly differing cultures led me to have a burning curiosity about people all over the world. Stemming from said curiosity, I have fallen in love with traveling to other countries, meeting new people and delving into their culture, exploring new cities, and of course, dining on the local cuisine! If I cannot escape into a different country, then my next favorite method of adventure is to lose myself in a spectacular book. I enjoy books of all genres--from fiction and novels, to biographies and ethnographies. As long as it captures my fancy and holds me spellbound the entire time, I will burn through the book like a forest fire! Because of this penchant for reading and travel, coupled with my love of deep and mysterious things, I have been often called a dreamer and I find the title suits me. With that being said, I invite you to stay a while, perhaps make yourself a cup of tea and linger through my posts and feel free to comment or share a thought :-)

36 thoughts on “Sometimes You Just Have to Save Your Own Damn Self”

    1. This was something that I was ruminating upon today in relation to some of the battles I’ve been facing in my life, and I realized that no one ever really discusses the story of the knight. And how hard it is to be the damned hero sometimes. It’s so easy to romanticize ideals and set expectations sky high, until there is no one there to meet those said ideals but your own self. Perhaps I shall have to finish his ballad one day!

      Liked by 2 people

  1. It’ s 2.15 in the early morning here in Worcestershire, England and I’m reading your blog.
    Food for thought – the problem is the knight who means to help becomes as culpable as the meanest cad who places the damsel in distress if his rescue attempt is sullied by his own inner demons. Sometimes the wrong knight arrives – does she need Lancelot du Lac or Galahad? Or even Arthur himself? I’m tired and I haven’t got an answer. Love your posts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. In some parallel universes, the princess decides she’s tired of waiting for some mythical knight and climbs out of the tower and rescues herself. Sometimes she becomes the knight in the process.. Sigh. It’s so nice to have some place safe we can lay our weary head on, but sometimes we have to become that safe place for ourselves. Thank you as always for reading, Stef ♥️


    1. As long as you’re still among the living, your story has not ended yet. It’s the most difficult thing you’ll have to do, but you can still choose to create a new ending. I have to make that choice every day too, despite all my failures.


    1. Thank you Tom 😊 Before yesterday, I never even thought about this classic fairytale trope in any other way than how we all grew up hearing it. Well, I don’t think about fairy tales on a daily basis either lol, but ruminating on some deeper subjects and jotting notes down led to this article. You know how it goes..

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I love this twist. I kept thinking of shrek while i was reading and how he was an ogre and no one wanted him to be the one to save and marry fiona.
    Everybody got battles, and youre right, a shining armor is one that didnt have to get in the dirt! which means no experience!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This reminded me so much of the Oprah Winfrey quote that I had to track it down and post it on my page. I love your analogy of the knight in shining armour. No-one’s ever told it like this before. It really makes you think about these expectations that some people have about waiting for something to happen rather than being proactive about it. So many people today lack resilience. I loved this blog- it really resonates with me and I will be thinking about it for a long time.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am most flattered that it was able to resonate with you like that! I wholeheartedly agree about not being proactive—truthfully, as a female in a culture that adheres strongly to traditional roles, I was never taught to be proactive. I was raised to serve and be in the support role. Serving is not a bad thing, it is good and noble, but I ran into obstacles when my visions for my life did not align with the kind of training I received growing up. Ruminating on the daunting amount of obstacles I faced and had to overcome, this train of thought took hold as a result. Hence, this post ☺️


  4. I have a major white knight complex. It’s some that formed over the years as I had to deal with my own problems and issues. A real white knight saves others because they have been where the fair damsel is now. They understand and so they reach out. The problem comes when the damsel ether just wants the attention or is not willing to work together with the knight to find salvation. Realizing you cant save everyone is hard. I will settle for just one damsels shield. For me.. that is enough.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I completely understand. There was a point that I have had no choice but to pull back because instead of saving everyone, I realized they were taking me down with them and I was drowning. I’ve become incredibly empathetic over the years due to having to face and overcome incredible obstacles, but sometimes empathy can be detrimental to your wellbeing because no one can truly save someone if the person you’re trying to save refuses to save themself. I hope that makes sense.


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