A Funeral of Years

I cut my teeth on the gap-toothed effervescent glow of innocence

where weeds and wishes grew in wild abandon

in that back yard that seemed to stretch forever.

With pockets full of daydreams, we exchanged small miracles for shiny nickels,

and braided lilting melodies of joy

into the flower crowns we wore.

Running with wild abandon into the future that shined so startlingly bright,

we never thought to look back at the innocence we shucked with every leap we took.

I lost that little girl somewhere in the sands of time and after many years of searching, I realized I’d attended my own funeral when I abandoned her.

Author: ebonyandcrows

Hello and welcome to my page~ My name is Larisa--a very common Slavic name that was either derived from the Latin word hilaris, meaning "cheerful," or from the Greek city of Larissa, meaning "strong fortress." Born in Ukraine, I emigrated with my family to America when I was still a small child and now make my home in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. Growing up immersed in two vastly differing cultures led me to have a burning curiosity about people all over the world. Stemming from said curiosity, I have fallen in love with traveling to other countries, meeting new people and delving into their culture, exploring new cities, and of course, dining on the local cuisine! If I cannot escape into a different country, then my next favorite method of adventure is to lose myself in a spectacular book. I enjoy books of all genres--from fiction and novels, to biographies and ethnographies. As long as it captures my fancy and holds me spellbound the entire time, I will burn through the book like a forest fire! Because of this penchant for reading and travel, coupled with my love of deep and mysterious things, I have been often called a dreamer and I find the title suits me. With that being said, I invite you to stay a while, perhaps make yourself a cup of tea and linger through my posts and feel free to comment or share a thought :-)

27 thoughts on “A Funeral of Years”

            1. 😂 it’s because it’s transliterated directly from the Ukrainian way of spelling it, and it’s very rare that any Slavic words have two letters in any of their words. Names never have two letters (maybe there’s an exception I don’t know about)—why have two when one does the trick? My brother in law is named Denis—yes, pronounced like Dennis, but with the one n because of the same grammar rule in the mother tongue.

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          1. one of my favorite people and I used to say that all the time. i feel like my throw aways touch more than the ones i feel are adequate. art is funny like that. once we let go of the words, intent is gone. it took me too long to reconcile that I my head and let it be what it is. indecipherable.

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    1. Rob, you know what I’ve been wrestling with? Bringing those feelings and experiences back as an adult. It simply cannot be that we lose the magic and wonder of being alive on this great big earth when we grow up. Like what on earth even happens during the process?! I know what happened to me, but after many years spent in the dark, I’m fighting tooth and nail to conquer it for good.

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      1. Do you know what’s funny? You’re planning a trip to Vermont and I had such wonderful memories of chasing fireflies through the rolling hills of Stow when I was a young boy. I wrote a song about it, and in the song I’m wishing to relive those days once again. I’m not a great lyricist, but this is the outro:

        I wish that I could run again
        through fields of fireflies
        And childhood Dreams of Skies
        Of stars and moons with those who’ve passed
        but loved and left so long ago;
        My friends, I miss those nights of moons and fireflies…with you…..

        (I sent my message in error previously, so please delete the incomplete response?)

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        1. He’s not a great lyricist he says..those lines are incredible! I really enjoyed how I felt when reading them, I honestly felt like they were cocooning me in a net of twinkling fireflies and summer evenings in the liminal space of twilight where miracles seem like they’re a little closer to our reach.

          That’s so cool that we both wrote about the nostalgia of childhood—I think we are all wistful when it comes to our memories of growing up. Plus, it was just a better world back then.

          I was talking to my sister the other day about how you used to go outside in the 90’s and everything was one big, great, adventure. No cell phone, no gps, you just go and wing it and everything seemed so much more alive. You didn’t know what the person a country over had for breakfast…now there’s just no more mystery.

          I could wax on and on but I think you know what I’m talking about.

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    1. Such a beautiful comment, thank you Mich 🙏🏻

      It’s a paradox. Like the Faustian bargain where you receive a box full of darkness but it dregs up treasures from the pits of your soul.

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